Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Dictionary

Langauge is a wonderful thing. It is the one essential ability that differentiates humans and animals. Be thankful that you can scream 'fuck you asshole' at your enemy instead of growling incoherently. For all the lovebirds out there, be glad that you can say 'I Love You' instead of mewing or whining and making people wonder if you are hungry or not.

Therefore, I present The Bastard Dictionary 101: Terms, acronyms and phrases oft muttered by us. (Dumb version)
Disclaimer: Due to lack of sponsership and the slight shortage in enthusiam, this is the dumbed down dumb version where the original meaning is translated directly to english, if any. Also, it is not sorted alphanumerically either.

MHBP or Mai Hiam Buay Pai: Not fussy not bad. Eschewing of high standards in times of desperation. "Eh, that girl might have moustache, still...mhbp lah."

LPKLK, MT or Lim Pei Ka Li Kong, Mai Tia: Your father told you so, don't listen! "See, lpklk, mt! Bramble lao again..."

Lao(4): To drop or miss the ball or object heading your way. "TMD, Bramble lao again. Newcastle lose liao"

TMD or Ta Ma De: Literally meaning that person's mom's. See above for use of acronym.

Wa: Form of exclamation. Oft used to express shock, realization or dismay. "Wa,wa, wa... short, short..."

Chai: Pretty girl. "Eh, your groupmates there got chai anot?"

Hiong ah: Also know as Zhai. Means powerful or great. "Wah, you in SMU, hiong ah!"

Cui: Broken a.k.a cannot make it. "Chai over there....ehhhhh, sorry, sorry. CUI one."

Sagat Leaping Knee: A new move for goalkeepers in the game of football whereby the custodian leaps with one knee out in the air to physically stop an opponent from latching onto a through pass. Imitated from Street Fighter's Sagat. "Wa, damn hiong. Leaping knee people liao still dun wanna say sorry."

Liuuuu....Stannnn: Term of endearment. Used when drunk or hopelessly drunk. "Liuuu...stannn...*silence*..."

So there you have it, some of the terms, acronyms and phrases we bastards often use during conversations. More of such terms will come by, once we integrate them or yours truly find the inspiration to blog more. Till then, mug hard for your exams hor.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Sad day in the library...

Well, it begins this afternoon when i went to Lot 1 in CCK to return my library book before going to the polyclinic.

While in the library i hunted the fiction section for my beloved fantasy novels. And while browing through i found my treasured book, The Hawk Eternal by David Gemmell. But thats beside the point.

While searching i overheard this little boy who ran up to his mother sitting on a bench in the library. He was carrying a this skinny yet big faced book, looked like one of em children stories. He was pestering to borrow the book but his mother refused.

What his mother told him, or what i remember of it was "Borrow for what? You cannot even read the words."

And the son retaliated with "But i know how to read the words!"

Mother, "But you read already also don't understand, read for what? Put back the book lah."

If this were to happen alot in Singapore, i guess that is why Singaporeans nowadays don't like to read much. Or why our children aren't as 'smart' or 'hardworking' as foreign students.

Reading in the past was a privellege left to the nobles or rich. Books used to cost gold in their weight. Nowadays people don't even know how to appreciate paper. But what made me sad, was that this mother could have allowed her child to borrow the book. Then whatever he did not understand she should either explain or ask him to look up a dictionary. I remember that was how it was for me when i was growing up and what i still do when i run across words i don't understand. This would cultivate a good reading habit, a greater sense of curiousity and a hardworking spirit in the young. But all ruined thanks to a mother who knows no better. I don't blame her, maybe she did not get a good upbringing or she was having a bad day.

Final words for the post. Maybe not everyone likes to read or not everyone has the imagination to read. But please do not restrict this right to our youths. And btw, DAVID GEMMELL ROCKS! So does Salvatore, Feist, Gaiman and many more, haha.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Do you know? An apology.

They did a nice job with the stylo soldiers and the cool heavy tankers zooming around...
"Army. The Decisive Force."
Ever watch the commercial "Life story of Nick" where it's so boring that everyone falls asleep and Nick's life changed after joining the Navy. WOah~~

Bullshit.

Urban Legend: "eh boy when you come out of the army you're going to be strong and mature, just like your papa now."

Ya right... you probably hear this in your life once whether you are a guy or a girl. But seriously this is a whole chunka crap. 1st, it's never decisive. Those big shots just can't freaking make up their retarded mind and it's us the little midgets that suffer! Changes keep coming and we slogged our days with the puny allowance they give us...while they enjoy their coffee in aircon room. Exciting? Hah! probably...when you make love with mosquitoes in the wild and get screwed by the rank bigger than you. Definitely AWESOME!

Boys curse and swear thinking that it's cool. Midget like us in army curse and swear because we meant it. They say we mature in there...No, it's the other way round. I hate myself more now. I don't really like to swear and say the 'F' word and some other vulgarities that you hear me cursing. I really hate it. Unfortunately, it's been rooted deeply into me now after 2yrs 2mths. Picking up smoking is not that bad in army, picking up swearing is so much worse. I have degenerated.
Yes I have O-R-D. But so what...look at what it has done to me... Henceforth, I sincerely apologise to myself and those we often hear me cursing. Please stand the little nonsense that I blurt out. Forgive me...
yawn~~

Friday, November 24, 2006

beer...food...soccer...and...?

Ya this pics were like taken 2wks back I think but dear Bryan was too lazy to upload them...
So it's me updating this post.

Yes the 3 of us again...but this time at my house. Doing nothing... watch soccer...eating junk food...pizza, KFC, chips and some other junk shits that u can think of that make us fat. hah! Had some adventure with Stan that day though. We wanted to call for delivery but for some reason 62353535 just refuse to get me thru to the operator. So I decide to drive out..yes me the one w/o license as stan refused to drive my dad's car. Well it's a little bumpy(literally) but it turn out fine but parking the car back was one Hella challenge...but still nothing is too tough for the 2 of us.

Stan: yay! Pang din kill me...and it's finger licking goood~

Bryan: eh where's my chicken drumlet????


Heineken anyone?

Thursday, November 23, 2006

eh?

Have you ever wondered if that girl or guy who keeps looking your way is interested in you, even a tad bit interested? And that smothering eye contact? Have you ever wondered what would happen should you take that gigantic blind leap of faith and just approach that person?

Well, if you are like us, bastards or the the female versions of us or bimbos or alcoholics or a lil chao lao face or unfortunate enough to have a suicidal amount of facial hair... do NOT take that leap of faith or it will be a one way ticket to Hell. Imagine taking a leap into Hell, not very nice ain't it. Very painful, to say the least.

Why not to take the leap one might ask? Eh hello. If you are as described as above, it means that you are C.U.I. What makes you think that they are looking at you? There might be a hot hunk or babe unfortunate enough to be standing or seated behind you. Or worse, that person who is looking at you might be thinking, "Wah lau eh, tak boleh tahan! So cui still wanna take up space. Block my view only..."

But actually, if you're a bimbo..you can actually give this a shot. After all, you are already discounted as a bimbo, so nothing more is left to be lost, right?

Looking before you leap didnt't matter much...till now.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Tis the season...

Well it's mid November and the time to be jolly once again. Why can't people fucking understand that Christmas is in December? Not from the beginning of November till mid January? http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php?strip=580 this comic kinda sums up what i feel.

But anyway, thanks to some obscure reason, my holidays have ended up being pushed forward. Instead of clearing my leave and off during the Christmas period so i could spend time with family and friends, i am now officially clearing it from the 24th Nov till 10th Dec. How exciting. So anyone free during that period, feel free to ask me out as i'll probably be rotting at home or finding something to do.

P.S. I Love my Job. Such fulfilment, excitement and sense of Pride.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Stereotypist?

Are you a stereotypist? Erm no... How stereotypist are you?

Let's face it people we are all bias and freaking stereotype in one way or another. For me, scholars from Country 'I' are loud, speaking in their proud accentuated English and have enough money for only one bird. Darn... there is a group besides me now talking loudly in the library. "Shuddup la!"

But please people, we should all open our narrow mind a bit somehow. Singaporean are way too conservative and that include myself. Maybe we should start seeing things from a different angle to gain a better perspective, in another word 'break out' (well in another sense, not the one in bryan's dictionary). Haha...

So, let's try somethings now...
A guy in berm and black socks and leather shoes may not be from Country 'C'.
A couple of muscular guy in singlet walking out the gym may not be gay.
A couple eating together may not be in a relationship.
Don't look down on the fatso over there, they may be richer and have a prettier gf than you.
and well...
A 16 years old look-a-like may in fact be 21 already. Darn~ Hahaha...

*alone in the freaking library and exhausted by law. Mugging sucks! yawn~~

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Chong Ming's Birthday

Well yeah it's Chong Ming aka Ryan's birthday today, so, Happy Birthday!

Went out with Bryan, Glory, Birthday-boy and ShiHan (dunno how to spell her name) to Brewerkz to 'celebrate' his birthday.

Sadly all the photos are in Bryan's phone and Glo (or ShiHan i dunno whose) camera so no picts for now. Await updates.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Believe it!!

So what happen on Nov 12??

I am sure most of you will know what's shown in the picture above and of course many would have already know that I tried to persuade SMU students in my comms class on Friday to buy 4D! So on that very Sunday Nov12, I handed one of the 4D 'Optical Answer Sheet'(OAS) to a friend of mine. Well...you know jokingly not really serious that she will bet on it.

HAH! guess wat? this is what she bought from the OAS i given her...LOL! (0211!!). And that very evening, she called me...laughing and exclaiming with excitement!
Yes! Believe it! She strike 4D that very sunday. Her very 1st time! It may just be a consolation prize but it is still worth $130. Such coincidence! I feel powerful at that moment! That speech of mine seem magical now! Do you know how freaking low the probability is and it just happen that I presented on this topic and it just happen that i met her and give her that freaky OAS. Yes...for those we have seen my presentation, you better believe in 4D now! This actually happen real life! So all you people out there...what are you waiting for? Get a 4D OAS from me NOW!!! Hahahahaha!!!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Good Karma!

Good things do come...this post was meant for sunday 12NOV.
How unexpected? What a pleasant surprise?
What do i mean?
Stay tune for more... it's 12 NOV 2006!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Whats with...

It's 3am in the morning and i'm on my way home after watching soccer at Pang's place with Bryan. After Bryan hops on the cab i make my way home alone, a short 5 minute walk.
Into the lift i step, and the 12th floor i press.
As the door opens i get a nice surprise.
Infront of me stands a beautiful lady standing at around 1.75m, black mini skirt, blue tank top with a white bra showing at the top. Hair dyed slightly blonde, eye popping assets and damn long beeautiful legs. Okay to some of our viewers i guess this might be abit too... Male. But hell at 3am in the morning you'd think i'd be damn surprised and shocked? Not really, this is not the first time i've seen her, and sometimes in less than what i just described. Usually i see her around this time, when i just reach home from drinking or clubbing. Or sometimes early in the morning before i go to 'work'.
Now the question... Is she... Going to work? Just finished work? Or what in the blue hell is she doing dressed so damn sexy in such weird hours?! You know i just can't help but wondering. Some day maybe i'll gather up the courage and ask her.
However, the main idea of this post is not about her, although i hope she does see this and answers me. But the main idea is whats with the youths of singapore today? Bryan told me just now he knew of this girl who was caught giving a BJ in her school gym... What the fuck? Junior College kids smoking at the age of 17 or maybe even younger... Clubbing, smoking, drinking and who else knows what? Sad to say i usually do help these underaged 'kids' buy cigarettes...
Whats with the youths of our nation? 16 year old males going to Geylang to 'get some'. 16 year old females goin to clubs to 'get some' free. Well hell i'm not discouraging people, but... I don't know, maybe i'm getting old and closing my mind to such things. I sure ain't saying sex isn't good or it's taboo, but maybe the age just freaks me out slightly. Maybe it's cos when i was their age i didn't know about such things. I was an innocent sadistic little 16 year old who made other kids do push-ups and scold them till they cried. Now once in awhile i still scold people till they cry, but now they are older, and so am i.
Am i having too narrow a mindset? Traditionalist mindset? Or is it just too inbuilt in me to be disgusted by such acts at such ages?
I don't know... The world just disgusts me as the days go on. My friends and the small little stuff brighten up my life once in awhile, but they are just like candles in the darkness. Soon they get snuffed out. And the world turns dark once again. Lies, deception, politics, backstabbing, chaos, pre-marital sex, smoking, drinking, destruction, war and lots more... And to think i partake in some of the above activities.
It's almost 4am and my world is still dark. I'm sitting in front of my comp with a glass of vodka on the rocks and listening to Class 95 while i type this. I hope what i just typed makes sense, cos under these circumstances it sure does to me. I am someone who needs answers... Why is the world turning out like that? And who and what the hell does that pretty lady do?! Hah...

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Brief Background History of the Bastards

Once upon a secondary school life, there was a class full of bastards and bitches. This was the class of 106'98 and to mature on to 206'99, thus why they call themselves 06.

Well honestly it's mostly made up of bastards, the girls just stuck to themselves and called us crazy.

After our secondary 1 orientation camp we quickly became a close knit group of bastards who would eventually split up at secondary 3 and into different groups thanks to different CCAs, friends, hobbies, etc etc.

One of our favourite past time however would be to play soccer. Or if we had nothing better to do, wrestle. Yes we wrestled. We were Professional Wrestlers. Fake cuts. Uppercuts and jabs which looked real. Chairs to the head. Sadly we didn't have any sledgehammers or breakable tables at our disposal. I kid you not, we did wrestle after school. We would find a classroom, lock ourselves up and let the mayhem begin. Most people called us crazy and childish, most of them still do. But we were kids, and it was fun. To us we would never forget the time Bryan split his pants trying to kick someone in the face. Or the time Siong did a moonsault off a dais onto a mattress. Or the many times Jackson gave WeiChong the last ride. Or... I could go on for a long time, since forever would be an even longer time. But anyway, those were the days... Stories for another time.

Back to the topic. Yes, we were a class, and we stuck as a class even up till now. Or at least most of us stuck. We used to be more united as ex-classmates and friends, but then some stuff happened. Ofcourse it did, Murphy's Law, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Anyway, we are now sort of broken up with people all over the place. Some in University, some working, some in NS, some on their way to jail... Haha! We still try to meet up once in awhile, like our latest gathering, BBQ at Bryan's... Usually i run around trying to meet most of the 06ers, even those Pang and Bryan aren't very friendly with. Like YongXian, Liu, Glo, etc etc... Maybe someday we'll have a BBQ again for our loyal blog fans...


Ignore the date, i didn't set the date for my camera...

This is a picture of most of the 06 bastards, since this is suppose to be a brief history, i guess i'll cut it short. We are bastards, born into this family 06 under different names. We enjoy ourselves, go through thick and thin together, laugh at one another's misfortune and share one another's fortunes. Some of us club, some of us drink, some of us smoke, some of us pray, some of us fuck, some of us love, some of us are on the path to jail and caning. But no matter what, we are still 06.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Music is not good

You know at times when you board the bus, you would expect a peaceful and serene ride home? Sorry SBS suckers, TV Mobile owns your sweet behinds like no tomorrow. However TIBS riders like me, certainly can look forward to nice lil ride home.

BUT NOT WHEN SOME RANDOM STUPID AH BENG OR MELAYU MAT SWITCHES ON THEIR BLOODY HANDPHONES AND PLAY THEIR LOUSY BRAND OF MUSIC OR MUSIK LOUDLY!

For God's sake or whomever you subscribe to up or down there, please do NOT commit such an inconsiderate and brainless crime. Firstly, its not good manners. Secondly, it seriously is not cool. Thirdly, it seriously is not cool when one listens to music this way when he or she can just bloody plug in the headphones or earphones. Are you too dirt poor to get a pair of decent ear/headphones when you can get a phone that comes with low fidelity speakers and plays mp3 too boot? Like wow, you got mp3! Hey, I got an iPod, with in-ear earphones and a Nokia phone which can play mp3 too! Fourthly, it seriously is not cool to play your music loudly on buses or in enclosed public places. Karma will bite you back in the ass when you grow old and hopefully more mature. Just look at my friend Xuxian and his SMU girl exploits. Haha! Karma bites, hard.

So you stupid fucks out there, don't ever continue such a bad habit. Inbred!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Karma!

Do you believe in Karma? If you don't...YOU better start believing!

If you have watched the sitcom "My Name is Earl", you will probably know what I will be talking about. Dear Earl showed us how to persevere to reverse the bad karma that befall on him. And I think it's time I learn from dearest Earl.

Have you bitch and gossip about someone behind his/her back.
"Haha! so fat, look at those fats oozing from the waist!"
"So ugly...*puke"

Damn, then it's time you reflect what you say...Cause Mr. Bad Karma maybe lurking nearby waiting to strike anytime when you are not paying attention. And when that happen you better don't freak out.

Being a bastards like us is definitely not good. We bitch too much and I can sense that Mr. Bad Karma is already exercising his plan on me! Now I have to keep a lookout on him, this feeling is not good at all. Darn, but being a nice guy has no advantage...Good guy dies first!

Anyway, I should try really to be nice and keep quiet... I do not want to be backstabbed by Mr. Bad Karma and die without knowing the reason. Or maybe i have already been cursed my Mr. Bad Karma long before I know? No wonder I have been suay all of my 21years!

So a piece of advice for those out there, if you have been bitching too much and doing too many bad things...Better watch out! He's just somewhere around that dark corner......muahahah~

Friday, November 03, 2006

Self Finale

Hi. I'm a not so simple boy serving his nation unwillingly. Hope you all sleep well at night while i protect the nation so. 7 months to ORD.

I like to do lots of stuff, mostly i like hanging out with my best friends Pang & Bryan. PB. Peanut Butter. Mmm food. I am someone who cannot make up his mind easily, most of the time i like to think that it's cos i'm too complicated but maybe it's cos i'm too simple. What i want, i usually don't get. What i like to do, i'm usually lousy at. I like to write too. So i guess i should just give up and don't want or do anything then i'll get what i want and be good at what i do eh? Things don't work that way. People say i look like a monkey. I am fat. I am not tall standing at 1.7M but still i stood in the first row as the AirForce Guard of Honor contingent during NDP'06. I love my friends. I love chocolate. I am Stan.




















There, the last eye gouging picture of the 3 06bastards authors. We would probably post more picts of the other 06bastards and intro them too against their will and wishes. But thats what we are, bastards. This is kinda a last minute post and the picture was just taken too. But won't make much of a difference if it weren't. Still as fugly. So with this i end a chapter. Questions would be entertained, if we want to. But i guess most of you won't visit with all the eye bleeding pictures. Hah. Adios, for now.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Self the sequel...

The introduction continues...It's my turn as more horror and distress haunt. Ok! Grab something...Anything around you! Brace yourself for the worst...

XuXian is the name. but some prefer Pang...whichever may sound familiar to you. Definitely not good looking. That's for sure. Otherwise girls will be flocking to me like bees to honey. Similarly, no money in my pocket as well. I spend only on myself. Yes...selfish little bastard. I admit. No Talent, No Look, No Money, Not Humorous, No nothing... Eh then what do I have? A bunch of good friends I think. yeah!

The story goes on...if dear Bryan is short. Then I am a dwarf standing at a mere 1.64 and like them i am grumpy as well. Too short... No wonder no one really bothers to lower their head for a look. Life's like that you know? But xuxian don't really care. He's just contented to be himself. Yawn~~ Boring right. You know sequel ain't really that exciting compared to the 1st instalment. But there's still a climax...It's coming...Be prepared!



"MY EYES!" ok ok...I can hear all of you screaming your pain. Shucks~ No wonder my house mirror cracked if I look for more than a second. HAHA...We maybe infected by the immunovirus, already at the benign stage but we don't really care! Woohoo~

Well well...there's definitely more to come. Come back and stay tune to this URL as Stan shall bring the final episode of...Self! muahahaha~

Self

Allow me to introduce myself, one of the original founders of this blog, or so to speak. Beware of what lies ahead...

The name's Bryan. Let's forgo the family name least you reader decide to seek me out for revenge should you eyes bleed later on. No way in hell am I good looking so girls if you're looking for hot guys, you can stop reading. If you are looking for rich guys, move away too as Im a poor student and I do not have a car. If you are looking for something else other than those two mentioned above, please do not bother seeking me out. I do not think you will want to anyway.

In short, Im Short(1.72m), fat(fat enough to model for Xando Platinum 2) and ugly. Ugly enough to cause your precious monitor, lcd or crt, to die off. Notice that slight fade in colour at the bottom right hand corner of your screen. Please do not scream blue murder. Monitors can be easily replaced as long as you are no cheapskate. Here's a photo of me...be prepared...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
See, see! Ugly anot?! CUI anot?! Buang anot! So cui till nobody wants to seat beside me on the bus ok, least they catch the Chao Ugly Immunovirus a.k.a CUI from me hor! The only cuier person than me is probably Michael Jackson lor... kns.
So there you go, one of the founding bastards of this blog. Stay tuned as my fellow bastardic administrators come out of their fugly shells to show you their cui and buang face. Till then...