Saturday, June 30, 2007

away for 3 days...

As usual, trip down to malaysia wasn't impressive. the bus ride was long, tedious and tiring, the view ain't scenic and definitely lack of chais wherever you go.

sad to say but it's the truth. mr. chocolote skin aint doing enough to their own country. even locals are slamming them. what's going on? i just love home.

then, i saw a interesting headlines on their newspaper. wtf! they just shoot themselves in the feet and trying to shift some blame on us. how funny. the article describes that singapore gang are organising all the crimes in JB and it's us that cause the crime rate to increase in JB. well done, neighbour. why dun you tell me how incompetent your law enforcers are. furthermore, are you trying to imply that those thieves, burglars, robbers, muggers, rapists in JB are so disorganise and lousy that they even need the Singapore ah bengs to organise. get alive!

arh well... as i was heading home. the calm, wide water caught my eyes. wah! wake! they should do something to this magnificent water and not pollute it by setting factory by the sides. maybe i can spend a little coffee money on their officials and do something to it. wake.

at least, i am back home now. where nice, new cars roam the street and clean apartment fill our land. i wont say it's a great place to all but at least i like it. home.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Signs your friend is wasted and what to do... Part One

It's a Saturday night and you're in a club with a couple friends, there to celebrate a common friend's birthday.

Lots and lots of drinks and dancing. One of your friend starts talking weird, worse if it's the birthday boy/girl. Maybe he or she isn't even talking, just standing one side quietly, waiting to strike on your new shoes.

So here i, Stanley, the expert on being drunk and dealing with drunkards offer some advice to all.

Some general advice.
Drunk friends can appear anytime, anywhere, beware and be warned.
Always have a camera handy so you can take funny photos or if possible videos of your friend being drunk and doing funny stuff.



Signs to see if your friend is drunk:
Sign: He/She starts talking with a slur and keeps calling you their buddy or keeps apologizing for no particular reason.
What to do: This is actually a good sign. Means your friend is still somewhat conscious. Careful tho, a few more drinks and said friend might start becoming silent...

Sign: After a few glasses of vodka neat or a flaming Lamborghini and a tequila shot. Your friend turns quiet. It's a bit too quiet...
What to do: Bring your friend to the washroom or prepare a plastic bag. Or you can pretend not to notice and constantly keep your distance. The best is to leave a friend or 2 between you and him/her if you're chilling by the tunnel in Zouk or hope he doesn't vomit on you while playing mahjong.

Sign: Your friend starts crying and tells you how much he/she loves you, the girl/boyfriend, parents and asks why he doesn't have their love. The mucus flies and a box of tissues ain't even enough. Puke all over the kitchen basin and lots of lots of tears. Your friend is considering suicide as an option.
What to do: Woah this is serious man! You might not be a psychologist but there are some things you can do. You can try dragging your friend to the shower, dunk him/her a couple times. Usually wakes em up. Forcing them to take a nice hot shower works too. If all else fails and your friend ends up crying and whining once again all over the table. Knock him/her out. Just do it.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

unfair and unknown

"that's unfair", he exclaimed.
"nothing is fair", the teacher retort.
how true i thought. Back in primary school, my friend always grumble about being unfair. Till now, it's still so but there's nothing we can do about it. you can slog your entire life. be an honest man. polite and considerate. bloody nice like an angel on mortal earth. but somehow, life's somehow treat that asshole beside you better than any other. that's unfair. why? you ask. why? i ask. why? we ask. *shrug.

we are don't know. the more we try to seek for the answer, life and reality just give you a tighter slap across your dumb-founded face. freaking pain. oh hell yeah!
that's the unknown. everyone wonder about this, worry about that, contemplate on this, reconsider on that. damn it. damn life. just damn unfair.

shucks. life's a joke. life's a tragic. life's a happy ending. life's great. life's cool. life's about.........
it's about whatever. whatever you think, you want, you will be.

i just did a crap post. life............zzz.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Post Drought

Well it's been quite awhile since us bastards have posted...

1 word... Work.

Well it's the school holidays, civilian life means work work work and well even though it's the school holidays, people who work in schools still have to work. So basically all 3 of us are busy.

Thus... Post drought. Check back frequently, we still may post once in awhile. When we feel like it. Like right now.